i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
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