cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
I'm having to shit out rocks
Randomize
