I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
Randomize
