I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
Randomize
