3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
Randomize
