someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
