If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
Randomize
