grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
Randomize
