Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Randomize
