I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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