They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
My underwear smells like fireworks.
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
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