go do what you do best...puke behind churches
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
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