Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
You may now shotgun with the bride
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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