I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
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