C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
Randomize
