did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
Randomize