i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
Randomize
