its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
The adults are the big ones right?
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