whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
Randomize
