Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
Even the bartender felt bad for me
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
Randomize
