I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Randomize
