Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Randomize
