i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
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