Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
Randomize
