Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
Randomize
