Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
Randomize
