He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
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