I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
cat food counts as protein by the way
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
