hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
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