operation harelip BJ is a go
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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