I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
im holly from the hills drunk
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
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