Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
