where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
Randomize
