just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
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