girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
Couch. On fire.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
