Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
Randomize
