i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
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