i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
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