I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
Randomize
