Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
Randomize
