Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
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