you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
Randomize