Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize
