i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
Randomize
