Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
there's paper in my vomit.
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
Randomize