turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
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