I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
My mom is lecturing me about 'invaluable housekeeping skills' while I google 'cocktails involving gin' on my phone. I can feel the generational gap looming in her silent judgment of my choices.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
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