I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
Randomize
