I am in a vortex of obligation.
i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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