C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
Randomize
