? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
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