I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
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