theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
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