I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize
