So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
Randomize
