I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
