come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
Randomize
