people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
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