You just made me feel so damn special
he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
Randomize
