he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
Randomize
