He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
Randomize
