don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
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