have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Randomize
