Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
Randomize
