$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
