gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
Randomize
