We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
Randomize
